One Family's Heartbreak....

As we prepare to bring two children into our home, to love and raise as our own, I am in fervent prayer for their birth families. Many times when children are adopted around the world, it is due to tragedy - parents death, incarceration, drugs/addiction issues, homelessness, etc. But for China, things are often different than that. I have shared with you how we came to love these two kids, and how the Lord just moved us forward to adopt them, without question really. It was only after that I began to understand the need in China.



I honestly never knew much of China's "one child policy." Ive done mission work in South Africa, Mexico, and Poland and quite honestly when I thought of adoption those were the places my mind went. In fact there is a little girl in 2004 that I would have brought home in my suitcase if I could have. Her story broke my heart, learning that the girl slept on the ground every night and that is why she slept so peacefully on my chest...because it was softer and more comfortable than her normal place of rest. So as these two children from China were placed in our path, I began to dig into China and understand why so many children there are in need of families. There is need everywhere, but I will stick with China for the purposes of this blog post today.


As one article summarizes, "Thirty four years ago today (Sept 25, 2014), the communist regime in China enacted its “One-Child Policy,” one of the most disastrous and immoral social policies ever imagined in human history. It was the communist regime’s answer to curb the growth of the world’s largest population.

The One-Child Policy banned most Chinese couples from having more than one child. When couples conceived a second child, the Chinese government forced them to eliminate him or her, by any means necessary. However, because of cultural norms that place a premium on boys, the policy’s victims also included first-conceived children simply because they happened to be girls. In addition, Chinese women who gave birth to baby girls were also victims of this policy because many ended up being shunned by their husbands, families and society.

For over three decades, China’s One-Child Policy has condemned approximately 37 million Chinese girls – who the policy helped deem unwanted or “surplus” – to abortion, infanticide, abandonment and human trafficking. In recent years, the Chinese government has relaxed this disastrous policy and ironically, China now faces demographic decline in the coming decades, in part due to the One-Child Policy. However, innocent Chinese parents are still forced to endure abortions and sterilizations in the parts of the country that are still subject to it."

Basically, China only allows one child per family. Boys are more valued than girls which is why in the early one-child policy days it was primarily girls needing to be adopted. What happened though was that so many girls were adopted, boys have now become more prevalent in the orphanages than girls and harder to place in forever families. Some families do try to hide their children, which is why some kids are not turned over to orphanages until they are several years old. Birth mothers are forced to choose...many times those choices involve forced sterilization and fines. Therefore, children with any special need are also at high risk for abandonment. The government encourages abortion, so many of the children in orphanages were fought for - sacrifices were made in order to even bring them to life. As a mother, my heart breaks imagining having to choose between giving my child away and having the ability to bear children stripped away entirely. Especially as potentially a young family, who dreams of the ending of the one child policy. I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster of becoming pregnant with that second child. If the first is a girl....and the second a boy, what to choose?

I may never know the circumstances surrounding my two children's background and how they came to need a family. I will assume they were loved....desired....and that their separation was utterly heartbreaking for their birth family. And I will offer a heartfelt vow to their parents that I will do everything I can to offer them the love, joy, and life their birth family truly desired for them. I would hope and pray that if ever in that circumstance personally that God would provide the love of a family for flesh of my flesh. We are commanded to love one another....which is what I shall do. This verse was shared with me today, and I found great encouragement in it so I am sharing with you as an offering of the same. The Lord provides in many ways, may we be open to His calling for those in need.


God Bless!